What the hell is wrong with me?
Where do I belong?

My ex husband says I am kind of a pervert, too smart for a woman. His ideal woman is submissive and only has her own opinion on what to cook for dinner. He has a scientific article to back up his views; he is sitting in a computer chair and drawing a Bell curve with his finger in the air. He is confident that majority of men evolved to be decision makers and analytical thinkers, while women evolved to be silly and pretty. Unfortunately I do not fit into this Procrustean bed.

My mom says can`t you pretend. My church counselor echoes my mom`s advice, just shut up and don`t talk about anything but trivials. I can shut up, yes, but for how long? How satisfying do you think a relationship is where you are not allowed to be your authentic self?

I don`t want to be a sinner, and divorce is a sin, but I can't help it.
I cannot completely get rid of this deep desire to be accepted and loved for who I am.
Who knows, maybe women like me should be nuns. Or there is a possibility that there is a man somewhere who also doesn`t fit into Bell’s curve norm.